


Absence

by anderswasright



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Angst, Execution, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-28
Updated: 2011-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-28 08:42:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/306027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anderswasright/pseuds/anderswasright
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stannis' POV through ADWD (beginning after Deepwood Motte when he gets news of Davos' "execution") and a little beyond. Battle of Winterfell included. Mild Stannis/Davos.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Absence

STANNIS

 

  
 _Dark wings, dark words._  
The saying has never been more true.  
He crinkled the letter and his men couldn't see past his frozen mask, but somewhere deep he wanted to break things and yell at these ignorant fools and throw them out of his tent. But that would be unfitting to a true king.  
"Manderly will pay for this insult" he said finally.   
The lords didn't care much, he knew. Why would they? All they felt for Davos was contempt and envy. How  _dare_  this lowborn nobody rise higher than any of them, their eyes said.   
"Tomorrow we head for Winterfell. Be ready."  
They knew a dismissal when they got one and they left the king alone, only a woman - the one they called the She-Bear - remained.  
Stannis was uncomfortable enough around women, but this Northern wench in her furs, who was carrying weapons and (they said) mating with bears freaked him out.  
"What is it, Lady Mormont?"  
"What of the kraken girl, Your Grace?"  
"You keep an eye on that rabid bitch. I don't want to see her more than necessary."  
"She wants to speak with you."  
"Not today."  
 _Leave me alone already._  
These Northerterns really had no tact.  
When the Mormont girl finally left, he wanted to give in to his repressed anger, but all that was left was pain.   
 _I sent you into your death..._  
He could have cursed Manderly all day, but nothing would wash away the guilt. It was his own fault. He should've never sent him away.  
 _I have almost lost you once, and yet I never told you how important you were to me._  
He stared in his fire. Sometimes he saw things, but this time there were only flames.  _If I get my hands on that fat son of a bitch, I will roast him for this. Very slowly._  
But he knew that would not help much either. He was dead inside.

*

Their march in the snow became more and more hopeless. They were starving and frozen to the bone, even besides their fires. The men said Winterfell was only a few days away, but they said that one week ago too. The truth was they were lost in the wilderness.  
Stannis didn't want to speak to anyone beyond the necessary. He had no one here who was worthy to talk to, and no one who would not lie. He spent most of his time watching the fires, and each day he had more and more visions. Mostly Jon Snow and other watchmen, in dark and grim visions, then the horrors gathering beyond the Wall, one time an elderly man in a white cloak surrounded by snakes and scorpions. When he finally saw something of Winterfell, it was a feast where people with claws and fangs devoured the remains of something, and blood poured down their chins and blood stained their hands and the tables, but they didn't seem to notice and only laughed.  
On the night when they were trapped in the snow, three days ride from Winterfell, he saw Davos in the fire, fighting his way through a snowstorm on a bizarre landscape, and he felt physical pain at this sight.  
 _Why are the flames tormenting me with this? You're dead, my poor Onion Knight... executed like a criminal... I couldn't even bury you._  
He couldn't watch it anymore, but he didn't sleep that night. He didn't sleep much during their whole journey. 

*

Time passed and he refused to admit he was defeated, not even by his enemies but General Winter. His men began to eat the dead. He gave them to R'hllor, but he knew the poor buggers didn't have much choice. He had to make an example out of them but would this keep the others from doing the same? He doubted it.  
The same night, when he returned to his fires, he finally said out, if only to himself, that this might be the end. And who would miss him? His wife who had always been like a stranger? His little daughter who grew up without him and was afraid of her father? Melisandre? Maybe she would, a little bit. But even she needed him for her own obsession, she wanted the hero, Azor Ahai, not the human being. No, the only man who would have grieved for him was already dead.  
"So be it" he thought, grinding his teeth "but I won't go down without a fight."

*

Perhaps it was a sign that Tycho Nestoris arrived mere minutes after this dark thought. He spent the night questioning him and his companions, and what he heard gave him hope. At dawn, the traitor Karstark was given to the flames, and he told the whole camp the Umbers were under Winterfell and the Frey and Manderly forces were coming.  
They got ready for battle, but none of them expected what actually happened: that Manderly's army would attack the Freys. It was an easy battle, yet when Lord Manderly came over to them, Stannis greeted him coldly.  
"My lord" he said "you and I have unfinished business."  
"That we have, but not the way you think" the fat man said. "And you will soon know if you let me talk."  
He couldn't fully believe what Manderly said, although his senses told him this man was honest. But it was still too great a happiness and he didn't dare to believe Davos was alive, not till he came back safely.  
"He might be in great danger" Manderly said "but if anyone can find Rickon Stark, it's him. And for now, Sire, I have a plan how to take Winterfell."

*

The battle among the ruined walls, in deep snow, was the toughest he had even seen. Even outnumbered, the Boltons' forces fought on, and he knew he would never forget Ramsay's face when the fool saw him alive. That alone was worth giving up his flaming sword.  
Gutting him was even better.   
"Do not kill him" the Northern Lords suggested. "A quick death would be too good for this monster."  
Stannis hesitated, his sense of honour told him to finish what he began, but then he remembered everything he heard about Ramsay, and what he saw of his work on those poor creatures who came with the Braavosi banker.  
"All right" he said, looking at the Bastard who lay at his feet screaming like a pig "throw him to the dogs."  
Some of them said he was too merciful.

*

Lord Roose Bolton was wounded in the battle but taken alive, and he faced Stannis with dignity.  
"You are accused with treason and murder" Stannis said. "You betrayed your liege lord, Robb Stark, and although he was an usurper, you were among the lords who made him king, which only makes it worse."  
Bolton didn't show regret, or any kind of emotion.  
"Get it over with" he said. "But swing the sword yourself as a true Northerner would. Do you think you can do it, my lord?"  
This simple question hit Stannis deeper than anyone would think. Years ago, Davos asked the same thing.  
"As you wish, Bolton."  
The eerie pale eyes studied him, then Lord Roose smiled and knelt before the block.  
It was his first time beheading a man, and he never felt more steady.  
After he did it with one perfect strike, the lords looked differently at him. Some of them even smiled approvingly.

*

He sent ravens to the Wall but he didn't plan to leave Winterfell for a few weeks. His men all needed rest and here, at least, they had food, although not unlimited, after months of nothing it felt like paradise.   
Before he would have got any answer from the Black Castle - they took quite long, he thought - Davos arrived one evening, with Rickon, a wildling woman and Robett Glover.  
The King could barely believe his eyes.  
"Leave us alone" he commanded and when the Great Hall of Winterfell was finally empty - only the boy remained with them - he walked to Davos who fell on his knees before him.  
"Your Grace..."  
"Rise" he said and helped him up. Now that he touched him, he could believe at last.   
For the first time in his life, Stannis Baratheon gave in to his instinct and embraced Davos, holding him to tight as if he never wanted to let him go, and after long months of emptiness, he felt alive again.


End file.
